By Jennifer Harley Chalmers
“Keep the fire burning” is frequently used as a motivational phrase that signifies maintaining passion or fervor for something or someone. The phrase finds its way into motivational speeches, song titles, lyrics, marriage retreats, and even sermons.
But what exactly does it mean? And more importantly, if in the context of a relationship, how do we “keep the fire burning?”
Before answering these questions, I’d like you to imagine a real fire and consider all that is necessary to sustain it, ensuring a consistent flame.
Envision a man whose duty is to keep the fire burning for his family. This isn’t merely a weekend camping trip scenario; he is the guardian of the family flame – a Fire Keeper. His actions are a vital link to warmth, sustenance, safety, and light for his loved ones.
Can you visualize him? What does he look like? What surrounds him? Do you see his family – his children and wife?
Can you imagine those who rely on the fire for warmth and cooking? Picture the wood crackling, flames dancing, and smoke rising. Imagine the occasional presence of wild animals, wary of the fire’s threat, and the children sleeping soundly, warmed by its glow on a chilly evening. The fire impacts everyone around it, every moment of every day.
This Fire Keeper’s LIFESTYLE revolves around fueling the fire. From dawn till dusk, he tends to it, adjusting the placement and type of fuel as needed. He maintains a scheduled routine but remains flexible based on the flame’s intensity.
While tending the fire, he remains ORIENTED toward the fire, giving it focus and attention. Even when he steps away, he continues to look back and check the flame’s well-being.
He understands the fire’s VALUE; if it extinguishes, reigniting it is difficult and demands precious time and resources. The repercussions of a dwindling fire are severe, ranging from uncooked food and diminished productivity to compromised safety and discomfort on cold nights. Maintaining the fire’s strength is a priority and he recognizes its significance.
He cultivates an ENVIRONMENT with fellow fire keepers who offer mutual encouragement and support, preventing burnout. Reminders in the surroundings reinforce why preserving the fire is vital.
Being a fire keeper demands specific action: adopting a lifestyle of habits that nurture the fire, staying attuned to the fire by a focused orientation, understanding the value of his efforts, and being part of a supportive environment that fosters his role as his family’s Fire Keeper.
Keeping the fire burning necessitates action – a willingness and effort to DO whatever it takes to sustain the flame.
But, how does he know if his actions are effective? The answer is: the result. The outcome of his actions is a flame. The flame is not a tangible object or event; it’s evidenced by the heat it radiates.
Allow me to reiterate: the outcome of a fire keepers actions, or his willingness and effort to DO what it takes to keep the fire burning, is a feeling of warmth and beyond the feeling, is an impact of greater safety, provision, and health for the family and community.
You probably know where I’m headed here. Let’s transition into the realm of nurturing love within our most significant relationships – assuming the role of a Love Keeper - a critical role that both spouses share. Just as with tending a fire, the strategy for nurturing love can be summarized in the action plan that involves a lifestyle, being oriented, value, and environment, or the acronym L – O – V – E.
L – Lifestyle: A dedicated Love Keeper adopts a lifestyle marked by deliberate habits. It’s a routine that allows for spontaneity, emphasizing attentive listening and thoughtful responding. Seizing the moment and scheduling time to be a source of happiness is an integral part of this lifestyle.
O – Oriented: A dedicated Love Keeper is focused and oriented toward keeping the flame of love alive within the relationship. The Love Keeper remains attuned to the strength of the emotional connection – ready to take action if the flame requires nurturing.
V – Value: A dedicated Love Keeper understands the significance of maintaining love and fueling the relationship with intentional actions – recognizing the consequences of nurturing versus neglecting love. It shapes one’s identity as a Love Keeper.
E – Environment: A dedicated Love Keeper creates a supportive environment for sustaining the love keeping lifestyle, focus, and values. The environment includes like-minded individuals who encourage and reinforce principles to prevent burnout and distractions.
How do we know if our actions as Love Keepers are working? Its outcome is similar to a flame, it’s not a tangible object or fleeting event; rather it’s evidenced by what is felt or the feeling it radiates, much like the heat emitted by a flame.
Recently, our church sermon series emphasized the concept of being set apart. This entails being entrusted with a special purpose – we are Love Keepers with both God and our spouse, prioritizing these relationships above all else as Matthew 22: 37-40 commands. This commitment sets us apart from worldly pursuits.
The remarkable outcome of living a set-apart life is the FLAME it creates when we keep the LOVE burning as Love Keepers – sustaining both our passion for God and romantic love within marriage. This is the essence of a set-apart existence.
L – O – V – E is the cornerstone for nurturing enduring passion for God and romantic love for our spouse. Love, like a flame, is kindled with L – O – V – E as the action plan.
However, as fellow love-keepers, we know we can be an impact to our family and friends. We know that most couples don’t know how to be love keepers, they may even say, “What if the flame of love in our marriage has dimmed?” Or “What if my once fervent passion for God has faded?”
But we know, regardless of the intensity of their flame, there’s an opportunity to revive and sustain the feeling of romantic love within their marriage and re-spark their passion for God.
Being love-keepers in our own home and sharing our knowledge of how to be love keepers with our family and friends is our impact.
This is our legacy.
Want to start your journey to keep the love burning in your relationship in marriage and with God? Enroll in the Four Gifts of Love® Class and join thousands who keep their love burning.
